If You Don't, Don't

It's a given that guys are always interested in a number of different girls at any given time just as girls are interested in a number of different guys at any given time. (Obviously the severity of interest will vary from one interest to the next, but admit it, you're interested in more than one person right now.)

We also realize that there is a list kept of certain people who have made it further than just being an "interest" The size of this category depends from person to person, but the people that make it onto this list are hardly ever forgotten.

I have friends who have filled this list with pages of names. On the other hand, the names on my list can be counted on two hands. Valentine, Triple A, New Era, Never Land, Social Butterfly, Heart, and Teacher's Aid. (I don't know if the difference in numbers is because I'm picky, or if I just have a bad memory.) I haven't heard from all but one for over a year now, most of them it's been over five years since I last spoke with them because they where all friends from high school.

One of those high school girls was Social Butterfly. We actually went through jr. high and high school together. Every now and then she was cast as my counter part in a romantic scene. (This might have been part of what led to my initial attention towards her.)

S.B. and I really weren't such good friends that we did everything together though we still did a lot of things with each other and always had fun doing it, there was no surprise when communications stopped after graduation. I've thought about her every once in a while, just as I have with the rest of the girls.

You can imagine the frustration with my self though when, while I was getting ready to head off to work from the computer lab when I noticed a girl walk by. As I looked at her it suddenly hit me that it had to be S.B. I doubt that she even noticed me looking at her (even though I wished that she had.) She continued down the other aisle, further into the lab. I, being both an idiot and late for work as it was, stood up and left. As I got about a block away I suddenly realized that I should have gotten her number or SOMETHING, but no . . . (It would have been odd checking back into the lab getting her number and then just leaving)

Now I'm stuck just thinking about if it really was her or just my mind being hopeful, wondering if I'll ever see S.B. somewhere on campus again. Sometimes I really have to admit that I hate myself :-)