Pickled Pigs Feet and a Bearded Biker Man

There is something about living away from your parents, moving out, that makes you apreciate them so much more. All the sweet things that they always did for you when you where a kid never really ment so much as the things they do now that you're an adult.

I love my New Home (NH). It's a good distance away from my Old Home (OH), but still close enough that if Mom and Pappy need help with something I can just make a run down and spend some time with them. Apparently they decided that they needed help.

Siñor Molesto came back to get his microwave, which thusingly left us microwave-less. After some minor research Smilie found one at the D.I. for a whopping $10. That's where I was, deciding between the Big Juan or the small one when Mom called. (I've now become the handy man around the house because Pappy isn't totally capable of doing what needs to be done and I'm the only guy that isn't married and therefore already has a house of his own to take care of.)

Deciding on the Big Juan I hefted it down to the cashier and out to my car. At first glance Yarr wasn't so sure that it would fit in the alotted spot but it slid in with about a 1/8" gap. Of coarse with it being from the D.I. we sorely discovered that it is more of a "special needs" microwave. So far we can only get Big Juan to go about 1 minute with out starting to sizzle and die. (Makes popping popcorn a real pain.) However, he was only $10 so I'm really not going to complain. Besides, I'm not the one that really uses it to cook anything ;) With Big Juan behind me and some gas fumes in my car I set off for the OH. (The fuel light came on around Ogden.)

For some reason when ever I help Mom and Pappy they make a new seggestion for employment. "Have you ever thought of being a plumber? . . . How about an electrician?" and for Saturday it was "You know painters make good money." Now, I won't deny that I actually enjoy doing all those things. However, if I want to keep enjoying them, enough that I'll actually be willing to do them around my own house when I get one, I can never do them as part of my career.

So, until I do actually get my own place . . . which I'm sure will not be for a long time. I'll be aiding Mom and Pappy with their little "projects" . . . can't wait till next Saturday to do it all again.

Oh, and while everyone is on the topic of traffic violations. The citation that I recieved a while back was paid for and cleared, as far as I knew--till Pappy gave me a call and informed me that they intended to revoke my license. He copied of the receipt of my payment and mailed it off to all the proper authorities but hasn't heard back from them yet. His parting advice as I was getting ready to drive away, "If they slap some handcuffs on you when you get pulled over, you'll know why." . . . ah the love of a parent.

Life is a Game of Dodgeball

The Cajun had his farewell today. It was interesting to hear some of the stories he told and to delve deeper into the subject of living your religion. One comment The Cajun made caught my attention "Knowing is the easiest part." I'm one of those boys that had grown up with G.I. Joe, where "Knowing [was] half the battle." Even if it was half the battle it still is the easiest part of life.

Often it seems that the concept of how to become the perfect person takes multiple books, each filled with hundreds of pages on a different aspect of the day to day issues that come into our lives, and also the extraordinary issues. Yet I've known the keys to living a happy life since I was a little child. The speaker which followed The Cajun explained it rather well "I havn't learned anything from primary that was really shocking to the way I should be living my life."

People will gladly stand up and tell us all that we need to be doing, I'm one of those people as well. There isn't anything wrong with that, unless we arn't at least trying to do them oursleves.

I guess that the quick summation of what has been going through my mind today is this, "Be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only." (James 1:22)

If You Don't, Don't

It's a given that guys are always interested in a number of different girls at any given time just as girls are interested in a number of different guys at any given time. (Obviously the severity of interest will vary from one interest to the next, but admit it, you're interested in more than one person right now.)

We also realize that there is a list kept of certain people who have made it further than just being an "interest" The size of this category depends from person to person, but the people that make it onto this list are hardly ever forgotten.

I have friends who have filled this list with pages of names. On the other hand, the names on my list can be counted on two hands. Valentine, Triple A, New Era, Never Land, Social Butterfly, Heart, and Teacher's Aid. (I don't know if the difference in numbers is because I'm picky, or if I just have a bad memory.) I haven't heard from all but one for over a year now, most of them it's been over five years since I last spoke with them because they where all friends from high school.

One of those high school girls was Social Butterfly. We actually went through jr. high and high school together. Every now and then she was cast as my counter part in a romantic scene. (This might have been part of what led to my initial attention towards her.)

S.B. and I really weren't such good friends that we did everything together though we still did a lot of things with each other and always had fun doing it, there was no surprise when communications stopped after graduation. I've thought about her every once in a while, just as I have with the rest of the girls.

You can imagine the frustration with my self though when, while I was getting ready to head off to work from the computer lab when I noticed a girl walk by. As I looked at her it suddenly hit me that it had to be S.B. I doubt that she even noticed me looking at her (even though I wished that she had.) She continued down the other aisle, further into the lab. I, being both an idiot and late for work as it was, stood up and left. As I got about a block away I suddenly realized that I should have gotten her number or SOMETHING, but no . . . (It would have been odd checking back into the lab getting her number and then just leaving)

Now I'm stuck just thinking about if it really was her or just my mind being hopeful, wondering if I'll ever see S.B. somewhere on campus again. Sometimes I really have to admit that I hate myself :-)

Exothermic

Conversation has always been one of those things that just evades me. I don't do stories, seldom do I actually tell a joke. My social skills thrive on the one-liners, quips, and physical expression. (This makes phone calls a difficult situation for me.) If chance comes that conversation falls on something that I actually do have a knowledge about and can add a couple of cents I'm often quite excited, though the excitement doesn't come often. It's really come to be that I am a much better listener than anything else. While listening is truly a great skill which-as I've come to discover-very few people have, talking is something that I want to actually achieve as well.

I've been aware of my inability to socialize for a long time now, been trying to understand why. It was only a short time ago that an idea finally came to me; everyone is always talking about something that they did, somewhere they went, the people they where with. They feel like they are important enough to tell others about themselves. Now, I don't suffer from depression in fact I feel that I actually have a good self esteem, but I never have quite felt that my life or anything I did was actually something another person would want to know about. The short answers where always enough for me to get my message across about my experiences, but does it really help the person get the answer to their question, or does it simply tell them that I don't WANT to tell them? So, I've been working on a new goal to become, in my own personal terms, a socialist.

Don't expect any great changes, in fact I hope to evolve oh so subtly that it will just happen, rather than "You've changed!" The frightening part is that in order to do so I will be opening myself up more to more people than I think I ever have. But according to some, that might actually be a good thing. I certainly hope it is.

Returning Home

Yesterday my parents mentioned that I should give one of my friends a call. I haven't seen him since the day before I left on my mission. We where the best of friends since elementary school and while we wrote each other a letter or two while I was gone we never really seemed to keep in touch. I've been home three years now and have no knowledge as to what's going on in his life besides rumors and hearsay.

Why is it that we end up losing some of our best friends, the ones that we could just talk about anything and everything with no fear of judgement or criticism, and quite often even a deeper understanding of the topic after the conversation is complete?

Possibly even a more poignant question, why do we always tend to keep those that make us miserable close? Take my friend Anderson for example. She has been dating this fellow, whom I will call Unknown, for a while, broken up with him a number of times and has deleted his number from her phonebook at least twice. Yet she ends up with him again . . . Did he change? I don't think so. So why is she taking him back?

I suppose it was explained to me best from another friend. We all have an emotional bank. Deposits and withdrawals are constantly exchanged between all those we are in contact with. People can give us comfort, joy, entertainment, etc. (+ Deposits) They can also make us hurt, upset, sad, or even lonely. (- Withdrawals) Everything has a plus and a minus involved in it, even doing nothing has an exchange rate.

The exchange rate for an action is never the same from one person to the next, but we can assess our standings with the person pretty easily just by how they make deposits and withdrawals in our emotional bank.

As Anderson took and evaluation of Unknown and found him in debt she decided to cut him off before he took more and more from her bank. But she never took note of the debt he had built up for himself and so when he came back to make another withdrawal Anderson didn't take notice where it was going and fell back into the hole which Unknown had made.

Realize though, that this does not only relate to dating relationships but ALL relationships. I've always made it a goal in my life to be making deposits and avoid withdrawals whenever possible, that's one way to become a valued customer. But maybe we it's time to take a look at our relationships and decided rather we are in debt or gaining interest with those whom we love. Maybe there are those in our emotional bank that needs a receipt of their standing.