All the Anger and the Eloquence

There are events in our lives that occure and as much as we might wish to express them to others at that moment, it's not possible. A light has been lost in Anderson Red's eyes. She's slowly comming back into reality that God exhists and loves her and the rest of her family. Our arms are open to hold her up. I don't know what more can be done.

When My Walk Becomes a Crawl

Life's a journey, not a destination. We move along the path every day. Sometimes we relish every moment just looking out at what's around us, seeing the details and loving those in our company along the path. Other times we move a long lackadaisical and unobservant. Rather we travel with interest in all things around us or apathy we still trip and fall on the obstacles in our path, or we might step a little too far to one side and slide a little down the hill.

A number of times as I've fallen hard on my knees from a random root I've sat there for a moment, just asking if all the rest of the roots in my path could be taken away. If I could just have a smooth flat plane to run across, as fast as I can. Leave everything behind me and just learn to fly. Luckily for all of us it will never work that way.

It's the roots that give us the trees and the trees that give us the shade from the unceasing sunlight. The rocks that build the mountains around us creating those beautiful moments when we make it to a peak and can look back at the landscape of the life we've lived to that point. It's amazing to turn around and view the mosaic that I've come to be, and I'm grateful that I'd never been granted my wishes to have a parking lot.

Those moments I can look at what's in store for me, and even though it's cloudy, I'm excited to move into it and overcome all those nasty little roots, rocks, and great hills that will add to the already beautiful landscape. I slowly move down the side of the peak and as I walk I see some of those whom I love on paths near mine. We can walk together and pick each other up if we ever trip, sometimes a travel partner can even catch us before we hit the ground.

The G-Chord is Still Ringing in My Ears

The other night I was chatting with Anderson Red and Smilie when we got on the subject of Anderson Red's relationship with guys. I've come to accept that the statement of "Guys are JERKS!" does not usually include me, mostly because if it did include me then the girl wouldn't really be telling me about their problems with OTHER guys. I've also come to accept that the said comment will always be used when a girl is having issues with one or more guys.

On the flip side, we also had the opportunity to hear a little bit about Smilie's relationships as well. Along came the female counterpart "Girls are stupid!" Now the odd part is that this is also a statement used by the girls, at which point they tend to include themselves as well. (I would tell you about the commonly used terms brought on by the male gender, but I can't think of any that you can count on showing up in every conversation . . . and if I did they probably wouldn't be well received by my readers.)

I thoughtfully listened to the two of them tell about their woes and internally analyzed it all. (I'm sure that I would have thrown in my two cents of dating woes if I actually had any, but my life thrives on being serene and thus maintains an eternal issue-less front.) Then I decided to tell them my story.

It was around mid-term of last semester that I really started to get to know Segwa. I walked her home and we went to lunch together. I was pretty certain that there was interest so I asked her out. The night before the date was to occur I decided to be the gentleman and call to confirm the date. I think this wasn't the best idea because it gave her the opportunity to tell me how sick she was and that she most likely wouldn't be the best date to have fun with (I know that it probably was the truth, but still was a lame excuse.) Luckily I get cheap entertainment in seeing how quickly I can get a date on short notice. (My record is giving her 30min. warning.)

Since we had a lab together we where still able to talk a lot and have some fun, so I opted to try for another date, she was excited till she realized that she already had plans with her brother and had to turn me down, chalking up a second strike. Being the kind of person that loves to have confirmation on all things I decided to go for a third and final strike. She said "yes" to a tentative day but it was the end of the semester by now and thus lab was over, so I decided to call a couple of days before the date was to happen to solidify the what and when. Unfortunately she wasn't home and so I decided to leave a message with Segwa's roommates. The next time I heard anything from her was actually just a couple of days ago. (Seriously, it was just this Monday that we crossed paths and said "Hi" to each other.) I waited to hear back from her, figuring that she would want to know about when we'd be going and what we'd be doing. When I never heard from her I just decided that it wasn't going to happen, strike three.

I've had time to think about this now and as much as I had figured that she was just another "stupid girl" I came to realize that maybe I'd become the quintessential "JERK!". Let me explain, assuming that everything up to strike number three was just all mishaps and ill timing and that strike number three came about due to the fact that the roommate never gave Segwa the message, and instead on the chosen day she had gotten ready for the date and I basically ended up standing her up.

Of coarse sometimes guys really are jerks, and sometimes girls really are just stupid, but then there are times where we all just make mistakes and everything goes wrong. The moral of the story? Guys, stop being "jerks" and girls stop being "stupid".

Sledding In Gullies

There are always pros and cons to living in a tight knit community such as an apartment complex. Any night I can go out and find somebody to just sit and talk with, or to play some games, or watch a movie, or any number of other things.

One great example of this is the Round House Date Night. This week we've decided to invite a couple of other apartments. For some reason we just kept thinking of other people that we wanted to get involved and now we're looking at about 15 couples, yes that means about 30 people.

However, getting this date together also causes problems. Case in point; #14 and The Pianist were over chatting with Smilie and me when the subject of the date came up and we started to plan with #14. Unfortunatly I'm not asking out The Pianist whom I took on a date last week and have been working on getting to know better. She is obviously aware that we are all getting dates, and she won't be mine.

Now I'm not really sure that I'm all that interested in The Pianist. I just want to get to know her better, just as I do with a number of different girls. Guess what it all comes down to is that if the book isn't going to be opened I'd rather be the one to keep it closed. Isn't that a selfish thought. So often we decide that we want to be the ones in charge of everything when really we are the least capable to do so.

How many different things come into our lives that we determine to be in control of? How many of those things should we really just leave in the hands of another that is more capable and understanding? It's strongly against our nature to do so. Man's desire is to be the master of his life and all things around him, when the only thing he really can control is his own choices and actions, and so often he fails to be wise in that department to begin with. Why should he have any more power which he wouldn't be able to handle anyways?